Monday 5 September 2011

Day Seven in Words - Carlisle to Kilmarnock

Distance travelled: 96.61 miles
Ascent: 1,679 feet
Average speed: 14.67 mph
Pain ratings:
Adam 7 (hard work today- hit the wall before lunch)
Alan 3 (on-going bum issues)
Neil 6 (I have a code in da dose)

Soundtrack of the day:
Adam - Ashoken Farewell, Ungar
Alan - Road to Nowhere, Talking Heads
Neil - Theme from 'A Bridge Too Far' - Band of The Parachute Regiment

We left England today and started our week long journey across Scotland. It doesn't look that big on the map but when you are cycling it seems to go on for ever. Today's route is described by the organisers as 'undulating' which means miles of long straight roads with slow grinding hills and easy rides down - at least that's the theory - but strong headwinds mean that we have had to pedal downhill as well as up.

In these conditions we ride as a cycle-train in single file with wheels virtually touching. The idea is that the front rider creates a path through the air making it easier for those behind. The front man swaps around every few miles giving everyone a rest. Because the bikes are so close, the rear riders can't see the road and so the front man uses a series of hand signals to point out bumps and pot holes. It's customary for the rear riders to shout 'Top Hole' or 'Jolly Japes' if a signal isn't given and they crash into a crumbling trench of Tarmac or loose bolder.

Alan is riding a hand-built Mercian, which weighs more than an elephant, he's also carrying two panniers that act like Mary Poppins' carpet bag and contain all sorts of goodies, he may very well have a hat stand and bird cage inside them. Surprisingly he is able to keep up a pretty good pace but the weight tells on the hills when Neil's carbon fibre De Rosa 838 glides past with a cheery wave and friendly 'eat my dust sucker'. Neil's love of his bike extends to the custom-made silver and black condom which he places over it at night, apparently to avoid scratches. Lest he goes too fast, Alan wears a yellow combination rain jacket and parachute that inflates in the wind so that passers-by see what appears to be a sumo wrestler on a pushbike sailing through their village. We have not seen top speed out of the Shutymobile (a blue Trek), apparently a morbid fear of an early death moderates his speed during the downhills (although he insists that he has reached 47 mph off the back of Shap Fell) and his little legs don't reach the bottom of the pedals thereby restricting pace at other times (ho ho). Adam does sport a pair of fancy red cycling shoes of which it is said if he clicks his heels three times he can be in Kansas any time he likes.

We're now in the Premier Inn, Kilmarnock, which might as well be Kansas for all we know as after a shattering day we have all flopped into the shower and will then head on for dinner.

Gales and severe rain forecast tomorrow.

2 comments:

  1. Respect and a toast to you all (from my lounger overlooking Puget Sound)

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  2. Wow - Scotland already - well done team. Great to see the pain rating swingometer coming into action. Its delightfully reminding of an earlier life of regular cycle trips - generally I was the one at the back while my fit enthusiastic friends sort out the hilliest route they could find! On receiving one trip report from the chief offender (COO) where he described much suffering in the rain on some 150mile jaunt called a "randonee", where people who like suffering get together to do it on bikes, I was inspired to invent a few rules for our jolly band of cycle tourists. Here they are for your consideration:
    Rule 1: Only do it if its going to be fun
    Rule 2: Remember rule number 1
    Rule 3: Never pass a tea shop without using it.

    but while on a trip in France after the 5th cafe I got a complaint that there were too many rules so I had to add the libertarian get out clause,
    Rule 4: all rules are optional --(apart from rule 2 of course!)

    So there we have it - and have found them jolly useful rules for most things in life! Glad to see from the tone of your blog that at least Rule 2 is being adhered to. And just for your trip we'll add rule 5: never pass a sausage role without eating it!

    Enjoy the wind in Scotland today! Put your kites up!

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